In the year 2005 I resolve to:
Getting knocked up...twice.
Wear my underwear outside my pants.
Get no less than 4 speeding tickets.
Take pictures in the locker room.
Give myself an anal probe.
Invent a better pizza.
Stop making silly resolutions.
Become one with my inner sociopath.
Not eat cloned meat.
Learn to eat fire.

Get your resolution here.